


Flash, pen, Can I see you again?

by mirambella



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Celebrity Crush, Flirting, Fluff, Interview, M/M, Magazine AU, Pre-Relationship, football player, possible series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:33:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26233486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirambella/pseuds/mirambella
Summary: Alex is a journalist working in a variety magazine.His next job? Interviewing the NFL star quarterback and sweetheart, Charlie St. George on his recent coming out story.What sounds a nightmare will become a huge discovery.
Relationships: Charlie St. George/Alex Standall
Comments: 23
Kudos: 61





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Betaed perfectly again by @QueenC

Alex wasn’t in the mood for changes. Monet was an artistic source of self-expression, research, and shelter for small communities, not just a paper (and online) magazine with superfluous and over the top topics. 

That’s why when chief editor Foundry presented his plan for the second week of September, he visibly rolled his eyes. 

"When have we become a sports magazine? I don’t see this interview as an interesting topic for our readers. I understand the interest in gossiping about... celebrities but that’s not who we are." Alex didn’t need much to expose his ideas even if his boss was the direct recipient. 

"Charlie St. George is the first NFL quarterback to come out as bisexual. I thought you of all people would be excited. I was thinking you could offer a better point of view, Standall. I don’t want to talk about his abs, or how many boyfriends he had like that Gay Times magazine would do. We are not doing shirtless pictures," continued Foundry. "I want something different. St. George is committed to the cause. He's giving speeches at schools in San Francisco about body positivity, acceptance, and bullying. I want to present him as the new sweetheart your mother would want you to date. You are taking Down with you.”

Thank god it was Tyler. He liked Tyler. He was quiet, professional, and observant. Besides, Alex had been dating the other Monet photographer, Winston Williams, till three weeks ago, and they were not exactly on speaking terms. 

Alex couldn’t run. That was a command and his work at Monet paid for his apartment and his bills. Furthermore, he had booked a really interesting concert review for the end of the month and Foundry had accepted it. He had to give to receive. 

That didn’t mean he was happy about doing it, or at least not completely.

"You know," Tyler’s sweet voice brought him back to the office and his computer. He was too far away in the clouds. "I can’t be very creative with face close-ups and stuff like that, but I’m looking forward to meeting this guy. He seems like a good influence for kids like myself.”

"You can ask for outside pictures. Maybe he's not too scary, or rude.” Alex responded absentmindedly. 

"I’m sure I’m here because Foundry was afraid of Winston jumping on him like a lion, because he is better with people than I am." He looked at his friend. "Sorry, too soon?"

"No, no," Alex moved his hand to give no attention to the topic. "I know what you mean. It's recent, but it doesn't hurt anymore."

It kind of hurt, though, because Alex had discovered that Winston was still seeing his ex, and Alex’s personal enemy, when they started dating and didn’t say anything about it. Winston made him feel like a dirty secret, and everything escalated from there. 

"Maybe you'll like this boy. He's only twenty-two, but his mind is older…"

"First of all, he's too young. Second, he's a client,” he said those words slowlier on purpose “ And third, did you just quote Hamilton?” 

Tyler laughed and abandoned his table without losing eye contact. The bastard. 

* * *

  
  


A couple of days later, they were meeting Charlie St. George at one small studio close to the magazine newsroom. Charlie had insisted on not having too much staff or a big space, and Foundry would have respected anything, even if he asked for two hundred dollars in water bottles, that’s how interested their boss was in that interview. Alex, however, was still a little bit dubious. He didn’t trust celebrities completely, but he recognized how a coming out story brought from an elite sportsman could help people in the closet. 

Charlie was sitting in an armchair, his head slightly down like he was reading something. He looked mildly distracted, so Tyler coughed loudly and the player stood up to greet them. 

And god, he had bright and kind eyes. His smile made him look pretty young. The quarterback glowed like a kid on Christmas morning. He stared at Alex and almost made him blush. 

"Welcome! I’m Charlie,” Charlie shook their hands. 

"Tyler, the photographer, and this is Alex. He'll be conducting the interview,” introduced Tyler. Alex smiled awkwardly. 

Charlie returned the smile. He looked adorable, but Alex didn’t want to think about that. Or about his arms, for that matter. 

"I’m glad, boys. I thought I was meeting older guys and that I would embarrass myself in front of them. Not that the situation won’t still happen." He laughed. 

"Relax." Tyler prepared all his equipment.

Alex hadn’t said a word. He was really curious, and maybe impressed? But the fact was that Charlie was looking at him like he was trying to read his expressions, eyes gentle and interested. Maybe he was thinking he didn’t look like a journalist, with no presentations or ice breakers. 

Alex sat beside him.

"Ahem. Well-- Should we start speaking about your coming out and the NFL?"

"Oh, so you actually speak. Nice," Alex blushed. "And it is a nice voice."

Was Charlie flirting with him? Alex swallowed deeply. 

"I’m... I was thinking about the direction of the interview. We can ignore the NFL if you want, and go directly to your experience."

"I don’t want to speak about football, no." Charlie relaxed, one of his arms playing with the seat's fabric. "I need to mention how sports work in this country, obviously. But I don’t wanna be polemic either. I’m trying to help other young people and inspire them."

"Is it essential for you to have a coming out story?" Alex was trying to understand the motives behind that big gesture. He was certainly more reserved with his own life. He came out in an scalated way, with no big scenes. 

"As a public figure and an NFL player, yes. I think it will help, but it was also the right time because it was done on my terms. People need to understand that we all have a personal clock that tells us if we are ready to show ourselves but also, if our circumstances are the right ones . It is not mandatory to shout to the world who you are but I didn't want the press to take that from me, as a dirty secret.” 

Alex liked that answer and to be honest, he was a little bit impressed. He hadn't gone to that interview with an open mind, and Charlie was proving him wrong. He really wanted to help others and he struggled with the projection of his persona like anybody else.

"Just one thing," Tyler cut the train of thoughts in Alex’s mind. "Could we possibly shoot outside? I know some places that would look natural."

"Yes. I just have a couple of requests. I would like to go to the newsroom. Check the photos, choose them, read the draft. If it is not a big deal for you, guys.”

So he had to see Charlie again. Alex’s heart was fluttering. 

"Yes. It has to be ready in about a week. You can come before the weekend," Alex tried to sound casual.

"Fine. We can continue, then."

The interview passed in a blur. Charlie proved to be funny, articulate, and considerate. He had some problems with a few words, but even that looked cute in him. The way he apologized, with a little tint of pink in his cheeks, made Alex stare for longer than necessary. 

He wasn’t into jocks. Well, he had never dated one, so maybe the category “jock” wasn’t like a smooth class where everybody behaved the same. Alex's conceptions were deeper than that idea. And he was going to miss talking and looking at this soft gentleman. Not that he would admit that to Tyler or anybody else in the magazine. 

Alex followed them outside. Tyler was a very creative photographer and was putting Charlie in the most unlikely situations, and the quarterback was taking them with a smile. He looked good laying in the grass or waiting for a bus. It projected a very urban work that normalized a supposed glamorous life. 

Alex took advantage of that and asked Charlie more personal questions, like where he grew up, what restaurant he preferred, or when he had his last date. 

"Two months ago. I’m not so good with set-up dates, and that’s what my colleagues are trying nowadays.” He looked directly at Alex. "Did you mean with a boy? Because I might be hoping that will happen soon.” 

Alex blushed and crossed whatever he was writing with an unnecessary panic crawling on his chest. 

They parted with a handshake after a few minutes of Charlie trying to say something that got stuck in his lips. They would be meeting again at the end of the week, anyway. 

On their way back to Monet, Tyler looked at his workmate. He was so observant and considerate that he didn't say anything but it was evident what he wanted to ask.

Not that Alex didn't think about that stupid football player for the rest of the week. It was quite distracting. He had another two articles to write, and Alex had considered them more interesting than the one that was keeping him awake at night. 

* * *

That Thursday, Tyler came to him with the pictures, unintentionally prolonging Alex’s torture. Charlie looked charming in every single one of them. 

"You did a great job. It's difficult to choose."

"He's very natural. It’s not just my talent this time." The photographer looked at the pictures. "It kind of… leaves an impression on you."

"He is... a very considerate young man. He's going to inspire his generation.”

"Ok, ok, grandad," Tyler laughed. "We're meeting St. George tomorrow. Keep it free."

Tyler left him with the photos, his thoughts, and a possible double meaning to his words. Alex had thought about that all week. He couldn’t ask a celebrity out on a date and pray for no rejection. And he definitely couldn’t take a rejection just now, not after Winston and the state of his self-esteem. It wouldn’t happen. 

That joyous, young, and bold boy was shaking his world with a two-hour conversation and sweet gazes. Why did he look interested? Almost like he could see something in Alex that it was invisible for the rest of the humans. 

* * *

A cold shower was the morning treatment Alex used that Friday to get rid of all the foolish feelings that were building inside of his mind. 

Foundry was happy about the draft and even happier about how invested Charlie sounded about the state of the article. Potentially, it could be a success and the numbers of copies sold would reflect that. Alex was starting to feel like himself again.

He couldn’t fuck up his reborn career, not even for the most beautiful face in the world. A face that was currently entering his domain, relaxed as that other day, greeting politely everybody that crossed his path. 

Winston stopped by Charlie’s side and Alex rolled his eyes, still sitting at his cubicle.

"You have a very good sense of fashion.” The photographer looked at him from head to toe.

"Thank you," Charlie ignored Winston and continued walking until he reached Alex's desk. "Good morning, Alex." His smile was so contagious that the journalist had to respond to it.

"Good morning, Charlie. Sorry, I don’t have a proper office, but you can sit beside me."

"No problem."

It actually was a problem. Monet’s whole staff was looking at them, some were murmuring, some were making eyes at Charlie (Winston), some were simply gazing quickly at them. 

"You are very popular," said Alex quietly.

"I have that effect, sometimes. It's frustrating that it's not always with the desirable people, but you can’t have everything, I guess."

Alex couldn’t help but think there was a different meaning behind those words and blushed a little.

"Are you single? You know what I’m talking about, don't you?” That was the question he was fearing, but Alex tried to keep it cool. 

"I’m the one asking the personal questions." He laughed, slightly flirty. 

"That’s unfair…" Charlie grinned back.

After that, they went back to the pictures, and as expected, Charlie loved all of them so they took their time deciding which ones to use and revising the article. At a particular moment, everybody left for lunch and they were alone in the room. 

"Sorry, I’m keeping you," Charlie apologized.

"No worries. I value your idea of a well-done job. I also need this article to succeed. I had a couple of rough months." Alex felt like he was talking too much. "Oh, I’m sorry."

"No, no... don’t be. I... Can I buy you lunch? I know a small place close to this building with the tastiest salads." Alex looked at him, doubting. "I’m a good listener, or so they say. We can keep this outside our professional relationship, the interview, just as... friends, or acquaintances."

Charlie looked nervous, and it was beautiful to see a confident and popular man like him act like that. It made Alex think he cared. 

"Yes, ok. Let me get my stuff."

Surprisingly, or not, they ate together without talking about their jobs. Charlie was passionate about animals and baking, and Alex about music and contemporary art but somehow the topics seemed to flow and made them feel comfortable in the other’s presence. Alex had to come back to work after his one hour break but he didn’t want to stop the conversation or separate from Charlie and his soft expressions. His voice was like his favorite record, and the major problem was that Alex didn’t know how to tell him that he wanted to continue listening to that music forever. 

It was crazy, however, that he didn’t think that feeling was just one-sided. Or maybe Charlie was always kind and passionate about everything. 

"You're going to think this is very inappropriate, Alex, but I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date... with me.”

And then there it was, what deep inside he had been expecting. Alex was speechless, white as a sheet of paper, and completely blocked.

"I’m sorry if I’m trespassing your boundaries but I really felt a connection between us, and this moment just confirmed it, but you can have your own reasons to decline, of course."

Alex wanted that so much that he felt sweat accumulating in his forehead. He didn’t deserve it. It was immature, selfish, and risky. 

"I’m... it's not that, it's totally not. I really had a good time but look at you. You’re perfect, everybody wants you, and I’m… the guy that interviewed you once. I have issues you don’t know about. I had depression and I’m coming to terms with my mental state just now, and the press will find out at some point. I know them. You don’t want that."

"I’ve been rejected so many times because of the press." Charlie sighed, frustrated. "Should I date a model with no flaws? I’m not asking you to marry me. I just want to continue this conversation."

Alex looked at Charlie. His eyes resembled those of an abandoned puppy.

"I really need to go," he said in a small voice, without averting their locked eyes. "You never give up, do you?" Alex finally smiled.

"You know, that’s a good quality for a professional football player."

"No surprise you're so famous. You are very confident." He sighed. "Ok."

"Ok, Charlie…" He moved his hands.

Alex could have kissed him or poked him on the shoulder but he just stood up.

"I’ll text you."

Alex looked at him before leaving. He was in trouble, in deep waters, but the image he saw was worth a try.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yes, I was pretty sure I didn't want to leave this two without a date and you without a snippet so I wrote a part two. I hope you enjoy it. It is not as long as I wanted but i need to start my reverse Bang fic. Have you heard we are doing a September special? Yes. Be prepared.

Alex waited until the interview was published to call Charlie. On the one side, he didn’t want to put the interview into danger, and on the other it was easier to have something to talk about when he called Charlie. 

Charlie, as sweet as he was, spent at least the first fifteen minutes flattering Alex and Tyler’s job until he realised the reason for the call. Alex’ voice was trembling and Charlie sounded excited about that. They agreed to meet at a small restaurant in the suburbs and have a quiet dinner a couple of nights later. 

The date came and Alex spent fifty minutes in front of his closet ( he even called his friend Jess for advice). At the end, and with the fear of being late, he decided to wear tight black jeans and a button up. Casual but smart.

How he was going to resist when Charlie was coming to him in his nicest clothes and a permanent smile? He hugged Alex warmly and appreciated him accepting his proposal and the opportunity of knowing each-other a little bit more.

“ Look, don’t be afraid, the press is not following me everywhere. Also, we are friends who hang out.” Charlie was trying to make him feel safer and less nervous. 

“ My last relationship was at work and...didn’t happen in the logical terms. It just sort of happened.” 

“ I like dates. You can know a lot about one person. I tend not to put too much pressure on the other. If it is not a success, we can still be friends. “ 

They went to a small but quite comfortable looking restaurant in the bay area. Charlie was specially talkative and charming, not that Alex was expecting something different. The thing was that the nerves Alex was nursing flew like leaves in autumn and the journalist started enjoying the company. He still loved Charlie’s voice, it was soothing and calm and he made Alex feel so involved that he didn’t even notice that the conversation was progressing to something that scared him in so many ways; School. 

Charlie was mentioning the talks he was conducting at education centres and they started sharing their experiences. That made Charlie curious and he asked about Alex’s depression but in a way that could be read as concern and not just gossip. 

“ One of my friends killed herself and it made me feel so guilty, because I wasn’t there for her. I don’t even know how I made it to college. Everything was falling apart for a while.”

Charlie looked at him with glassy eyes. Life was unfair sometimes. 

“ You may think I don’t understand but, I had so much anxiety when the recruiters visited my high school. I think I developed an eating disorder. I was anxious, exhausted...That’s why I don’t want young people to feel all this overwhelming situations. I’m successful but the pain that came with it wasn’t worth it.” 

They looked at eachother with hurt in both their eyes. Alex hawked.

“ What I don’t really believe is somebody like you being single for a while now. You have plenty of options. “ He changed the topic.

“ I do,” Charlie laughed “ So, you searched me out, ok. I’m not gonna say it is always other people’s fault, I am a romantic but I don’t feel connections too easily. Another adversity is time, and distance...You need commitment if you’re going to be apart. It looks easier from the outside.” Charlie drank some of the white wine they ordered a while back. 

“ You are attractive and thoughtful. The fact that you think that way at twenty two should be an advantage.”

“ You know more about me than I know about you, Alex” His name rolled on Charlie’s tongue and he loved the sound. “ We need to fix that.” 

“ There is not much to say. After the darkest years of my life I discovered I loved writing and creating content and that’s what I chose at Berkeley. I play bass, I like old rock and shitty-made horror movies.”

“ I love the fact that you’re a proud nerd.” Charlie smiled. “ Being surrounded by people who are sometimes fake, is good to know somebody that is authentic. Sorry, that sounded like a made up catching phrase.”

He didn’t mind because Charlie was a little bit embarrassed and that was making Alex feel more confident. Charlie wasn’t perfect. 

“ If you think about it, we don’t look compatible at all.” Alex was joking, however deep inside he knew that was a possibility that some people would take advantage of. 

“ I prefer to be complementary than compatible.” Charlie almost whispered.

Alex smiled, quite flustered.

“ You’re fast, and smart.” 

“ The food was awesome.” Charlie was grabbing his wallet. “ Let me pay, and you can pay the first round. I know a bar where we can continue our conversation.”

Alex liked that. Charlie was hoping the date would not be over yet. He wanted to spend more time with him. 

They went to a fancy bar and the situation changed there. Some people recognised Charlie, of course, and they earned some looks. That made Alex feel at ease, but Charlie grabbed his arm and with the sweetest voice asked Alex to look just at him. 

It wasn’t the hardest task by the way Alex was incapable of diverting his attention from Charlie’s lips. The problem arose in the fact that if he kissed him in front of everybody the press would know his name in the morning. And that would include his past and date history. 

  
  


“ You are a great distraction” He said finally, in a small voice. “ I can’t see anything else.” ‘Don’t make it weird, Alex’ he was thinking, but it was too late apparently. “ I mean, it’s easy to talk to you.”

Charlie wasn’t judgemental. 

“ I don’t really want this to end, because one part of me feels you’ll be scared and never call me again, but I really want to see you again. It can be awesome this time. You know?” Charlie almost whispered.

Alex wanted to believe that. He wanted to take Charlie home, wrapp him in bubble paper and take care of him, but the real world was out there, in front of their eyes, and it was unfair and sometimes stupid. If they just could dream a little bit longer. 

“ I’m working tomorrow. You can take me home and maybe find out which plans I have for us...next time.” Alex smiled and it was real because it reached his eyes.

“ Cool, Can I kiss you at your door like a real gentleman?” 

“ Let 's see.” 

The journey home was quiet, even if Alex was tapping the car floor mat with one foot. He felt in so much trouble going further with Charlie, however when he was looking at him sideways he sensed it was worth it. 

Charlie even parked the car and walked Alex to his door. They looked at each other for a second, then Charlie bent to kiss him softly. It was not enough, but Alex felt butterflies. Maybe it was the gentleness, or the feeling of his eyelashes on Alex's cheek, but the journalist felt brave and circled Charlie’s neck to deepen the kiss. 

Charlie broke it pulling a little bit at his lips, eyes still closed.

“ I should go,” He almost yearned. “ Or I will ask you if i can come upstairs with you and that will be really unappropriated. I...really want to see you again, Alex.”

Alex looked at him, thinking for a few seconds that felt like hours.

“ I want to do this again, yes, but it is my turn to organise.” He smiled happily.

“ Sounds perfect.” Charlie gave him a peck before he went back to the car.

Alex felt light as a feather and strong as a tornado. He wanted to call Tyler, scream, and stay awake thinking about Charlie’s arms around him, his smell, his voice.

He would try this time, and something inside his chest was telling him that they will be alright.


End file.
